August 15, 1990, Oxford, England, from DODO: The European Notebooks July 1990-January 1991

Published in the Dodo: The European Notebooks: 1990-1991, Journal

When I came back from wherever I’d gone mentally, for whatever reason, by which trigger, it took me only a moment to realize she’d never strayed.  And it kept my interest a moment before I strayed again.  I never spoke of what was really important, thinking that that would somehow damage it, make it other — And so I always spoke of the details of living, listening at the same time to the music — not realizing she was slowly starving because the music was all of my own imagining.  She hoped it was there but she heard a different music, while I thought we were only having a difficult time.